5 Reasons Why Massachusetts Would Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

There was a recent report that came out that pertains to the hypothetical scenario of a 'zombie apocalypse'. It seems that a recent study ranked Massachusetts as the 38th best state to survive such a scenario. Basically, that means we would be ranked as one of the states that would be least likely to survive such an event. However, it seems there are certain factors that were not taken into account in this study. Massachusetts could totally survive a zombie apocalypse because of these factors.

First off, who does these studies with these so-called rankings anyway? Is there an occupation that exists known as a 'Zombie Apocalypse Strategist'? Perhaps the government has some top secret special ops team for that, but to our knowledge, there doesn't seem to be.

In that case, there are certain factors that need to be taken into consideration if Massachusetts were to face a zombie apocalypse.

While there have been several depictions of zombies in movies ('World War Z', 'I Am Legend') and television ('The Walking Dead', 'The Last Of Us') in the past, the one with the most common general traits we think of when it comes to zombies are the 'walkers' from AMC's 'The Walking Dead' (I'm well aware they've never been referred to as 'zombies' on the show). If Massachusetts had to deal with such zombies with their similar traits, we're in good shape for the following reasons:

1. They can't handle the New England winters.

We're still going through our New England winters which aren't the kindest. When you're trying to move around on snow and ice, you have to strategically maneuver so you don't end up falling on your rear end. Zombies are stupid. They can't think about how to move around in the ongoing freezing temperatures during the winter months. Not to mention their decrepit body parts would easily freeze and break, maybe even fall off. They don't have a working circulatory system to help keep them warm.

2. The mountain regions of the state would be their biggest obstacle.

Hiking certain mountain regions anywhere can be a challenge. Imagine a zombie trying to navigate its way up Mt. Greylock. There's no chance! They would end up stumbling down the terrain.

3. They couldn't make their way around bodies of water.

During the summer, everyone is out on the nearest lake. Believe it or not, there are roughly about 3000 bodies of water in and around Massachusetts. Perhaps they're out and about on the eastern side of the state where there is an entire ocean bordering us. How's a zombie going to make his way through the river/lake/ocean waters to attack humans partying it up? Are they going to hijack a pontoon? No, as I'll reiterate once more, zombies are stupid.

4. Massachusetts drivers might pick some off in the crosswalks.

Actual pedestrians in Massachusetts aren't typically smart enough to know when they can walk in the crosswalk. How is a zombie going to know to do that? This will be one of the more default ways to defeat the zombies as they have no regard for knowing when to not be in the middle of the street.

5. Their defenses will be most vulnerable during the Fall

The woods is typically the spot where zombies would want to come from to attack. There are certainly plenty of these around Massachusetts. However, during the Fall, and especially in the Berkshires. Their dull, decrepit bodies are going to be easy to distinguish from the beautiful foliage we get to see every Autumn season. Therefore, it will be easier to pick out where they are so you can see them coming. It'll be the perfect time of the year for it.

However, 'White Walkers,' like in 'Game of Thrones' are an entirely different story. They can actually think and strategize. And, spoiler alert, they eventually even had their own dragon. Let's also not forget the fact that the Night King can throw a javelin better than any Olympian ever. If we have to battle zombies on that level, we may be screwed.